My Husband Has Cancer…….
Two days ago Mr S was given a cancer diagnosis. That sounds pretty shocking, right? I’ve repeated to myself ‘My husband has cancer’ many times since then but you know what? Those words don’t seem to carry any meaning.
Maybe it’s just that I’m still numbed by the news. We didn’t expect this at all and our plans for the immediate future are all now on hold, so maybe it will take some time to adjust to life being that bit different to what we expected.
Words don’t really mean anything in themselves – they only carry the ideas that we confer on them. And the C word is just a word. Without the connotations we give it, it doesn’t really have the power to shock or frighten us.
And yet I find that when I sit quietly and use different words – replacing ‘my husband has cancer’ with ‘my husband is a beautiful soul whose body is conveying an important message to him’ – those are words that do resonate.
The message resonates pretty strongly too: It’s time for him to look after himself.
In the years when I was struggling with ill-health, guess who has been right there, supporting, encouraging, loving and caring, shouldering responsibilities and… neglecting himself?
If I’m honest, it’s why I married him. For his gentle strength and his willingness to ride out the tough times. Not for the neglecting himself part – I’ve been concerned about that for quite a while but I suppose I thought he was invincible (he is, of course, but his body can only take so much), just like I thought I was. You’d think I’d have learned.
It’s never too late though, and I am learning – again. Now it’s my turn to hand out the TLC, this time with an eye on balancing our needs – physical, metaphysical, emotional; his, mine and ours.
From a medical point of view, we’re lucky: the prognosis looks good. Surgery is planned in the next few days and beyond that – well, who knows what new learning opportunities will arise.
What we have learned (we already knew this but now we’re really, consciously and joyfully aware of it) is that we are very, very fortunate. We have access to good information on how to bring the body back to its innate health, naturally and safely. We have each other, and we have the loving support of many true friends.
We’ve learned that not only do words have no real meanings of their own, but that at times they can’t begin to convey the meanings we attach to them, or the power behind our emotions. Thank you just doesn’t seem to cut it, but since words are all we have, thank you is what we offer – in the hope that you can feel the meaning beyond the words. If you’re reading this and you’ve contacted us or sent out loving thoughts to us… well, you know who you are…