Part 3 – Top Ten Parenting Mistakes -Trying To Get Your Child Not To Cry
Crying is the way humans heal. When a parent tries to stop their child from crying, they do that for themselves, not the child. The ability to cry when we have been injured is a key ingredient in resilience. Parents should not say to their infant, “Shhhh. Don’t cry.” Rather they should say, “Mommy knows. Mommy knows,” offering empathy or “Tell Daddy. You just tell daddy. I hear you, “ or “You’re OK.
I know a woman who told her daughter, “You’re ugly when you cry.” It was very difficult to treat her and to help her heal, because she was hardwired not to cry.
Who says kid’s don’t come with a manual? Now they do! Dr Faye believes that parents need good theory as well as clinicians. With good theory they can parent better and self-correct as well. The Manual is not just for parents, the information enables adults to objectively evaluate their own childhood lessons and even ‘re-parent’ themselves on their own or with the help of therapy.