Woman in her love of man is a giver. She wants to give all. But the question is can she give all to a man who does not love her enough? The answer is ‘no’. Her psyche will close off or her body (an extension of her psyche) will close up to his physical penetration or register pain. In both cases she will become emotional. She will be confused and start to doubt herself – her own knowledge – as woman of love.


The first way a man demonstrates that he loves enough (for now) is that he listens to her. He hears what she’s trying to say without reacting, blustering, accusing or defending himself. But she must not use emotion to communicate. She must speak straight and in the moment tell the man where and how he is not loving her enough in that moment of word and action. If he loves her enough he will see/hear what she means and endeavour to do better. If he doesn’t, she will have to face bravely whether she can stay with him – even though she loves him. A man who can’t listen can’t love.


The difficulty is that woman in our society has learned to love the man first, instead of loving the truth or love first. This is another word for loving God first. I have described precisely above how this is done. Read it over and over. It’s not highfalutin’. It’s fact in your experience, your life. Do you want a dishonest or half-hearted love? Then you have to be true to what you want; you might say, die for it.


Extract from the Barry Long book title:  ‘To Woman In Love’ (pp29-30)